The Beginnings — Side by Side

We’re all stuck in our homes, and my home includes two rambunctious boys who have no interest in creating a quiet work-like environment; that would be boring. So we made a little “office” nook in our bedroom that will do for now. While I’m in here, it seems a good time to attend to things that get pushed to the side. Quite a few folks have asked for more details about what Side by Side has been up to, and that seemed like a good way to debut this storytelling page. So here’s a look back at our first few months.

Hard to believe that our first SBS group gathering was only as far back as October 8 in Janet and Adam Neder’s living room. (We started by calling it “Taco Tuesdays,” but then moved to Mondays and called it “Tacos with Friends,” but then we started having non-taco meals, so, well… new name suggestions welcome.) I look back fondly on those first few weeks. The Neder home was a wonderful starting point that contributed to a warm and familial atmosphere. To make sure everyone was welcome to join right off the bat, we even built a ramp!

I remember driving to the house that first evening, feeling a great deal of anticipation and even a little nervousness. But I got out of the car and looked in through their large front window and saw some early arrivals chatting and snacking and smiling, and I remembered that despite the many logistics and difficulties of starting a nonprofit like this, what we are really doing is providing space for people to experience life with one another, and here it was, beginning to happen! In those weeks we first met strangers-turned-friends such as Garth, Jenna, Grace, Claire, Lynn, Linda. After only five weeks and a steadily growing group, the house tipped ever so slightly from cozy to cramped, and so SBS’s weekly gathering officially moved into a community center owned by Youth For Christ. More on that below.

All the while, Ryan Tjelle and Anthony DeShazo and friends began leading a “Lunch Bunch” gathering every Tuesday on Whitworth’s campus, with the goal of connecting Whitworth students and Side by Side folks. They’ve had a wonderful time eating together (lunch generously provided by Whitworth’s food service), answering a question of the week, and going on a walk (“Tiptoe Tuesday” :) when weather allows.

Ryan, Anthony, and Josiah showing off their selfie skills after Lunch Bunch.

Chef Josiah prepping the greatest of all baked potato toppings: butter.

In early November, we held a board-and-staff kickoff, including a one-day retreat of work and reflection, and a celebration dinner. Following soon after that was our first gathering at the City Life Center! This has been a perfect space for us to grow over the past few months: not so big that it felt cavernous when we were small, but not so small that we became cramped as we welcomed in more folks.

In December we officially established Home Groups, which are once-a-month small group gatherings in host homes around the city, in place of the large group. Home Groups are wonderful - they provide a more intimate, conversational setting, and are a chance to deepen friendships between people of all abilities. Our hope is that these groups grow and eventually take place all over town.

Also in December was our first annual Christmas party, complete with elegantly decorated tables, delicious soups, a beautiful community-led Lessons and Carols service, and a couple unforgettable light-up Christmas outfits.

As for what we do on a typical Monday…. After people arrive and mingle, we begin with a group prayer and then dig into the meal. Lately, we’ve settled on a monthly routine: Home Groups the first week, pizza (from Veraci!) the second, tacos the third, and Chef’s Night the fourth. On our first-ever chef’s night, anyone who wanted to help cook came early and made a delicious baked potato bar.

At the tail end of dinner, we begin Friends’ News, a mainstay from Reality Ministries in Durham that has become a huge hit with SBS (one person just told us he loves it so much he made his church group start doing it). After that’s wrapped up, we transition to some sort of group activity or game to cultivate an atmosphere of levity and joy. (Aside from the truly confusing double-negative “would you rather” game I tried… but the rest have been a hit!)

Then we move into 5-10 minutes of singing together followed by a short scripture message. Lately, we’ve been dwelling in the parables of the lost coin, lost sheep, and lost son, learning together about Jesus’s constant and determined love for each of us. We conclude each gathering with announcements, a closing group prayer, the wonderful song “He Who Watches Over You” (another Reality mainstay), and Josiah declaring “Go in peace!”

These gatherings have really been wonderful. And, we’re continually reminded that Side by Side is more than a program: our vision is a community of people of all abilities, not limited to a specific time or place. It has been wonderful to see friendships grow beyond these weekly time slots, like Phil hosting a group of guys at his house for game night. We hope and pray that the spirit of friendship and mutuality that has taken root will continue to grow. Now, in this season of COVID-19, we are learning more than ever about what it means to be a community that’s more than a program.

Thank you for being with us during these new beginnings. We ask for your prayers as Side by Side discerns how to navigate the challenging weeks ahead. Look for more stories and reflections on this page coming soon.

Peace to all of you,

David