Old Friendship Renewed — Side by Side

Side by Sider Josiah Pommer moved to Spokane in the fall of 2019 from Yakima, Washington. Moving to a new place can be exciting, but it can also be daunting to build the social networks that in time turn an unfamiliar place into a home. However, there were two very familiar faces awaiting Josiah’s arrival in Spokane: Whitworth student, Andrew Sonneland, and his mom, Krisi Sonneland. Krisi met Josiah’s mom, Heidi Pommer, at Whitworth University (then Whitworth College) and they began what has become an enduring and deep friendship. Andrew and Josiah were born just 11 days apart, and Josiah reports that, “Andrew and I have been nice friends for a long time, since we were babies.”

Though the Sonnelands and the Pommers lived in Spokane and Yakima respectively as the boys grew up, they gathered annually at Camp Spalding for summer family camp. Eventually, Josiah and Andrew attended week-long camps together with other kids their age and without their families. These weeks away at camp helped Andrew and Josiah forge their own friendship. Andrew clearly remembers a bit of afternoon free time during which he and Josiah started cracking up over something that his other camp friends would not have noticed. “I knew then that not many of my other friends were like Josiah,” Andrew reflects, “he was just having fun that day in a different way.”

Josiah’s move to Spokane provided yet another opportunity for Andrew and Josiah to keep cultivating their own relationship alongside their mothers’ already rich friendship. Side by Side (SBS) quickly became an important gathering place for the two young men. Both Krisi and Andrew were part of SBS’s first gatherings, and Krisi invited to Josiah to a SBS event soon after he moved. Andrew and Josiah then began to go to Whitworth’s chapel services together and join other Whitworth students and SBS friends for lunch on campus afterward. Though Andrew is a Spokane native and already familiar with a lot of people who are part of the SBS community, he notes, “it feels a lot less like I am bringing Josiah to something that is mine and much more like we are going to an event for a community that we both just share.”

Josiah and Andrew continued to stay in touch during the last year of COVID health concerns and restrictions by going on walks, talking about the NFL, and playing basketball outside. The latter activity has generated some friendly rivalry. “We are pretty competitive,” Andrew says with a grin. This competition is kept in check by mutual enjoyment and good humor, and Josiah grants that, “Andrew is pretty funny…well, very funny.”

Krisi and Josiah also regularly talk on the phone, and Josiah feels the warmth of Krisi’s presence, noting that she is, “really, really nice to me.” While Krisi is confident she would have been in relationship with Josiah no matter what, she had not anticipated just how special it would be to share Side by Side with Josiah and her son: “it is a joy to see Josiah connect with other people beside just our family in Spokane through Side by Side.”

Heidi Pommer expresses a unique mother’s gratitude for the ways Krisi, Andrew and Side by Side have helped Josiah adjust to life in a new city. “Krisi’s initial invitation to Josiah to a SBS event in 2019 opened up a whole opportunity for community that Josiah needed at that time […] to know he has this community alongside him has been such a gift to me as a mom.”

One special birthday event held not long after Josiah arrived in Spokane perfectly illustrates the unique web of friendship between the Sonnelands and Pommers. Birthdays in a new town can be tricky—who to invite? And will the invitees even want to come? But Andrew and Krisi were eager to host a party for Josiah and lo and behold, a lot of new SBS friends attended, along with some people from Josiah’s group home. Even Josiah’s dog Ruby showed up! “I can’t believe this is happening,” Heidi recalls thinking as she watched the party unfold, “These people didn’t come just because they tolerated Josiah. They came because they wanted to be here, because they genuinely enjoyed him.” What an apt summary of the kind of mutual friendship that Side by Side is all about, and what a vision of Christ’s free and joyful friendship with us.